Random musings I’ve pieced together over time on our entertainment professionals.

THE GOOD: Overall most performances are beyond the status quo, in some cases excellent.

Robert Downey Jr - crackhead, lol. He’s ok but not worthy of the genius status bestowed upon him.
Cate Blanchette – This odd non conventional beauty gives me wood every time. Also fluent in Italian.
Dwight Yokum – Sing, Dance, Act, he can do it all
Billy Bob Thorton – Although he’s been taking lazy roles the past few years
Gary Oldman - He and Billy Bob can be real chameleons, sometimes I don’t realize it’s them at first
Edward Norton - He’s been taking shit roles lately and his Bruce Banner was uninspiring. Bill Bixby For the win!
Mickey Rourke - while he can’t do shakespeare, he morphs into his roles without flaw.
Robin Williams: his comedy is too erratic and obnoxious for my taste, but is an amazing dramatic actor. (Jim Carey shares this contrasting gift)
Russell Crowe – Excellent work in every regard. And offscreen I like when he busts people up for getting in his face or being obnoxious.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman -Brilliant. Chameleon. Needs to agressively seek better roles though, ….or get a better agent. Most of his work leans toward boring, but his latest character in “Doubt” is remarkable. One great movie does not a great actor make, ……but keep your eye on this guy, I think we’ll be seeing more leading roles even if he is sorta weird looking.

THE BAD: They exhibit the same traits in almost every movie they’re in, regardless of the script.

Nicolas Cage - Clear winner among his peers in this category. Needs to get decent hair for his next role.
Brad Pitt - “Insiders” also say he has rank body odor, lol.
George Clooney - bobblehead
Keanu Reeves - Duuuude….Where’s my script. Actually it’s the scripts he can pick well, it’s his acting that is so dry and unemotional.
Jack Nicholson - Out of a hundred movies he did two roles of note: The Joker, and Col. Nathan R. Jessep. Extremely overated
Robert DeNiro – The most overrated actor since the invention of moving pictures. Yeah, “Im talking to you!”
Michael Madsen – plays a great neurotic bad guy though, never know if he’s gonna whack you or just keep talking.
Sylvester Stallone - he’s only done two movies that were slightly outside his norm. Credit for persevering and making all those Rocky flicks himself. .
Al Pacino - While diverse in some regards, he’s highly overrated. Serpico from the 70’s is still his best performance to date. One more thing, Scarface wasnt cool- it sucked. If Tony Montana would have bounced into town acting like that in Chicago Heights, Steger, or Sauk Village, not only would the jocks beat his ass, but our potheads woulda stomped that little shit for fucking up their mellow day.
Ray Liotta - seems like a nice guy which comes through in his characters, but no diversity whatsoever.
Matt Damon – He does know how to pick good stories and write scripts, but absolutely has no depth portraying characters
Paul Walker -The ultimate movie-ruiner, appears clueless in every role. Looks like he smells bad.
Christian Bale – Sorry! I actually like him, but I just cant seem to recall a role where he wasnt basically being himself. Wait….there was ONE. When he was 12 he did Empire of the Sun which was a GREAT movie.
Julia Roberts - but she does know how to pick mostly decent roles. Perfect shoulders-breasts-waist ratio.
Richard Gere – Entertaining, fun to watch, but really is just walking through his parts, in effect being himself.
Paul Newman - Oddly, he’s in one my favorite movies of all time, The Hustler. Beyond that spark of greatness, he’s another one-noter. Became senile in his last few years.
Michael Keaton - I hate to put him in this category, but to be fair, most of his movies he’s like smooshing together Nicholson and Nicholson-wannabe crackhead Christian Slater who also sucks.
All Black Rap Artists - Please stop teaming up with Steven Segal! The one script he’s been rehashing ad nauseum for the last 20 years got old about 30 years ago.
Mark Wahlberg – Cant’ act. Period.
Robert Redford – Second most over-rated actor of all time, behind Robert DeNiro. I cant even tell which movie he’s doing until I see the other actors in it.

THE UGLY: Gifted actors who irritate me because of their off-screen mouths and/or behavior

Sean Penn - white trash loud mouthed midget
Richard Dryfess – deranged pacifist
Mel Gibson – Has it in for the Jews. Such a shame because he can do any character thrown at him.
Alec Baldwin - I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s got some talent that maybe I just haven’t noticed, but he suffers from a puerile uber-hatred of anything even slightly resembling American traditional values.
Bruce Willis - He let a little puss like Kutchor take his woman, and then all three pal around together like best friends? This prohibits him from being in the Good category because he has done some outside-the-norm performances. Total disappointment.

*****BONUS CATAGORIES****

DIMWITS: Those who cant act, never deserved a break to begin with, and should be shipped to Darfur.

Janine Garofalo - Should just stick to playing a lesbian with dirty feet.
Rosie O’Donnell - Classless, over the top, big-mouthed fathead.
Matt Damon again – Suffers from Bush derangement Syndrome. Thinks Hurricanes were manipulated by Bush to run over only black people.
Charlie Sheen - Dipshit. Too much crack cocaine and syphilis, thinks 9-11 was a Bush plot to take control of the Earth.

YOU AGAIN?: Overused and sick of looking at them, regardless of talent level.

Tom Hanks – He should make “Castaway 2: Stuck in Hollywood.”
Nicolas Cage – he must be cheap to hire, so many roles, so little acting.
Will Smith – Semi-talented actor and really seems to be getting better each time, but miscast much of the time. Wild Wild West?? C’mon now!
John Travolta – Likable guy by all accounts, but damned dude, retire already.

ACHIEVEMENTS: Those who truly sucked at one time but have learned and matured into semi-talented entertainers:

Arnold Schwarzenegger – You have to admit Devito and him are perfect together.
Tom Cruise - Far and AWay, Last Samurai, and Vanilla Sky prove he can sometimes pull it together.
Clint Eastwood – But even when he sucked he was cool. He’s transformed into one of the greatest directors of the last 20 years. Genius at selecting movies to make.
Jean Claude VanDamme - ok, cut me some slack I know he sucks, BUT just watch “In Hell” (2003). He deserves an award for this role and it shocked the shit out of me. It’s an unoriginal “innocent guy gets put in foreign prison” movie, but it’s nothing less than amazing to see this guy drop the martial arts stuff, and actually act for once.
*update 06/17/2009) I just finished watching his latest, titled “JCVD”, and was blown away.  Excellent work, and the second movie where he is purely driven on acting talent.

MISSING IN ACTION: Underated or just underused:

Jeff Fahey - Decent actor, must have a really bad agent.
Leiv Schriber - he just now seems to be getting more roles, finally.
James Woods - Genius, Republican. The left in Hollywood hates his guts, so no roles for him!
Tom Sellek – Yes, he can actually act. Good person too, shares his bonuses with cast mates.
Cher - Surprised at that one huh? whatever happened to her?
Rock Hudson - oh, he’s dead. No more movies from him.
Micheal Landon – oops, dead.
Kurt Russell - He’s got his good and bad movies, but you have to admit. Kurt Russell is cool. “You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?” Woohoo!